My Tattoo Story #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

For as long as I can remember I've struggled with my mental health. I don't remember a time when I didn't feel like my own mind was conspiring against me. I know there was a time when it wasn't an issue because I only started having mental health issues when I was fifteen but I honestly can't with perfect clarity recall any of it. I have the memories but there's no emotional connection to them. Like looking at a picture book of pretty scenes and thinking "That's nice" but not feeling anything. I've had mental health problems for so long that they just feel like they've always been a part of me.

I realised at age eighteen that I was suffering from depression and that I had been suffering with it since I was fifteen. I have a tough ongoing battle with depression. When I go low, I go so low I think there's no way out. I've had suicidal thoughts. I suffered from severe anxiety due to depression to the point where I physically couldn't leave the house. My mental health story is messy and someday I'll be able to write it all down and share it but not today. I'm not ready yet.

Instead I'm going to share the story behind my tattoo.

Hello May

I'm going to sound like a right granny but how the hell is it May?! We're already in the fifth month of 2017. Where does the time go?! Seriously can we have a pause button or something because this year is going way too fast for me 🙈

I bloody love May. It's the start of summer (Theoretically, I mean I do live in Northern Ireland so there are no guaranteed seasons 😅) and it's usually a jam packed month for me! I'm well excited for what this month will bring!